As I walk into the studio around 6am this morning I was reflecting on all the craziness that has been going on in the past month in my life. I found myself getting stressed out the more I thought about it. Can you relate to this? I’m sure, we all of moments like this when everything starts rushing through our heads to where it becomes overwhelming. So, I took a step back and asked myself why am I getting worked up? I came to the conclusion I was searching for balance.
Balance? What does that mean?
Balance is an interesting thing, and everyone always seems to be searching for it or “working on it.” Those that keep seeking it out end up defeated and stressed. Basically you are trying to script your life so much to allocate so much time to every aspect of your life. I know we have all heard the term work life balance. We think by having perfectly defined times we focus on certain things it will bring peace to our lives.
All this does is create STRESS! I’m sure at some point you have been something at one point, and felt guilty for doing it because according to “balance” you should be doing something else.
It also ties back to this idea of perfectionism. We are constantly bombarded with this image of how we should be living through books, movies, and even people close to us. We then try to live up to this scripting of being perfect. Have strict work only hours, family hours, fun hours, and rest hours. How robotic does that sound? Completely unrealistic and disconnected from reality is what that is!
If not balance then what?
Since balance is striving for perfection what would be the alternative? Integration! Living a life of integration is living a life where all aspects are in sync and co-exist together. Not trying to segment the different aspects of your life. By focusing on balance and segmenting your time you basically strip creativity, fun, and spontaneous actions out of your life because those can not be planned.
Having a flow within your life where work, family, and fun are all in sync will create less stress. You are the creator of your life and you should only be allowing things into your life that flow well with other aspects of your life. I believe most people that focus way to much on the whole work life balance issue are not happy with either their job or personal life. So they feel by putting limitations with how much time they spend within one area will make them feel better. That is great and all accept for the fact your are still living a life that doesn’t fulfill you no matter what you are doing.
Quality is always more important then quantity.
Along with living an integrated life the quality of your time is what matters over quantity. I know this one entrepreneur that easily can put in 80 plus hours a week into his business, but when he is with his family he is 100% focused on them. So time wise he may not have as much time, but when it comes to quality he is winning. We see it all the time and I am sure you are guilty of it as well I know I am. You will be with your significant other or your kids and not really present. You are on your phone or mentally you are some where else. What good is that time then? Go do what you are thinking about instead of pretending to “be there.”
Live in such a way that no matter what you are doing you can’t help but be 100% present!
So in the end by reminding myself of this I let go of that feeling of balance and embraced the flow of life. Focus on creating a life where one area flows into the next, and know it is OK to not have the rigidness of a balanced life.